Torture
by Red curls
Summary: Lily and James have been captured, it hurts to move. their fate is a curse of aching pain, they have to get out... They have to get help... They have to live, because if they dont then their love will never get it's chance.
1. Sorry

**James**

James Potter knelt in front of the Dark Lord Voldemort. Not to show him respect, but gasping for air and wiping blood from the corners of his mouth. His forehead had small cuts on it; his arms were bruised. He felt as though his skin was beginning to tear itself apart. As his breath became calmer, James opened his eyes.

"That hurt, didn't it?" sneered Voldemort's high, cold voice. He paused as if looking somewhere off into the distance. "Did you hear that? It's the sound of death – a few more times and she will die just like all the others did."

Even though James didn't want to listen, his body disobeyed him, and he listened to the shrieks of pain that cut through the air. James took a deep breath as Lily's screams echoed through the great stone dungeon, bouncing off walls and slicing the silence inside his head. It was true: she, his love, was suffering the same fate as he – the Cruciatus curse.

With each of her screams part of his self broke and died, shriveling away as he witnessed her pain. But no, he needed to stay together; he needed to save her, put her needs before his own.

"So young. Seventeen and dying," Voldemort said playfully.

"What do you want with us?" James asked as calmly as he could manage.

"It's simple, really – just that you join me. I want you to switch sides – to the one that will win." For a moment James could have sworn that he saw a gleam of red cross his captor's eyes.

"And Lily?"

"She refused, choosing to suffer a painful death instead of selling her soul."

James' thoughts were ringing with escape plans. But nothing that he thought up seemed to work in the situation that he was in.

"Now you decide – live…or die!"

He didn't need to waste a second thinking about it. If Lily was going to die, then he would, too, just to be with her.

James took a deep breath and swallowed his fear. "Die."

Voldemort shrugged. "Your choice, though you would have made a wonderful addition to my army. _Crucio!"_

Hot pain shot up and down James' spine. It melted its way through his veins, and his bones were on fire. It felt as though hot knives were being forced into his flesh. Then, inside his mind's eye, there was a flash of white light.

_James was eleven years of age and getting ready to board the train for his first ever year at Hogwarts. There, not ten feet away, was a small, skinny girl with beautiful red hair and enchanting, emerald-green eyes. This girl had gotten her trunk stuck when she was pulling it up the stairs. For only a second, James watched her struggle, then went over to help her. _

"_Hi, I'm James Potter; it looks like you need some help?" he said extending a hand_

_The girl looked at him, then smiled the most beautiful smile that he had ever seen._

"Lily Evans. Yes, please, I need all the help that I can get," the girl said while shaking his hand.

"Alrighty then, you pull and I'll push."

Lily nodded and said, "Good for me."

After a few more minutes of struggle, they managed to get both of their trunks up the stairs and onto the train. Together they made their way to a compartment full of boys, all in their year.

"Hey James, who's this firecracker?" said a boy with long black hair that fell elegantly into his steel-grey eyes.

"Lily Evans. And for your information, I don't like to be called 'firecracker,'" Lily replied sternly.

"Too bad, because that's your new name with us, unless you'd prefer Red?"

"And what's your name? Black sheep?"

"Ahh… No, but close, so very close."

"Then what **do **I have the privilege of calling you, sir?" Lily replied sarcastically.

"King Sirius Black, if you will – now get lost!"

Lily looked to James for support, but he suddenly found his shoe laces very interesting.

"Fine. I can see when I'm not wanted," Lily said defeated. She grabbed her trunk and left the compartment. 

Pain once again shot through James' body. He wished that it would stop, that it would just go away, that he would just pass out already.

Suddenly, there was another flash of white light. 

_James was now sitting in his chair by the common room fire, surrounded by the rest of the Marauders._

"Next game is us versus Ravenclaw; they have great Chasers, but their Beaters are weak. Still, the word in the halls is that they are favored. What do you think, James?"

James didn't hear though. Now in his third year, he had other things on this mind. Instead, he just stared after a girl with long wavy hair and her nose stuck in a book. 

"James...Jamie...Potter!" 

_  
"Huh? What?"_

"You're an idiot," Sirius said.

"Why?" James said dumbfounded.

"Looking over at Evans. She's a bitch, man; give it up already."

"Whatever, Sirius." 

Lily, having heard the insult that Sirius had shot her way, walked out of the common room; James followed her, ignoring the shouts of protest coming from his Marauder friends.

"Evans…Evans! ...EVANS!"

"What do you want, Potter?" Lily yelled, as if she were talking to the dirtiest scum on the face of the earth. 

"Well, I just wanted to say…"

"Save it; I don't give a damn about whatever the hell you have to say! I mean, a bitch wouldn't, and that's what I am, right?"

"No, wait, Evans…"

"Didn't I tell you to shut your trap, Potter?"

"But…"

"Ah, some of my least favorite people. Potter, Mudblood, out after hours, are we?" the venomous voice of a hook-nosed boy sneered.

James could feel his blood boil at the sound of such a foul name being directed toward Lily.

"Snape," Lily said in a cold voice. 

"Snivellus," James said. 

_Snape turned to look at James with his cold black eyes. "It's not safe for blood traitors and Mudbloods to be wandering around this huge castle at night. Wouldn't want anything to happen to you now, would we?" he said with amusement in his voice._

"You lay one hand on Lily, I'll take you apart piece by piece, you hear me?" 

"_I'll heed your warning this time, Potter, but don't think that'll happen again."_

"Sod off, Snape!" James yelled, his voice echoing down the hall.

"Potter, Mudblood –" the Slytherin said, but in a lower, more dangerous whisper he added, " – watch your back."

After he had left, James turned to Lily to try and finish what he had started, but the look on her face scared him somewhat.

_  
"I can fight my own battles, Potter!"_

"What?"

"Don't you dare to try and speak for me ever again!"

"But I was just trying to help…"

"I DON'T WANT YOUR HELP!" 

"God, Evans, I came down here to apologize for Sirius calling you a bitch, but now I don't know why I even thought to in the first place! Because, Evans – you **are **a bitch!" James yelled. With each word, he could see water rising in her eyes.

Lily ran away with tears streaming down her face.

"I'm sorry, Lily," James whispered into the cool night. 

There was one last bright flash of light and the inevitable pain returned. Each second it grew worse; James didn't know where he was or what was going on. All he knew was the pain, and the shrieks of another. 

"I'm sorry, Lily," he choked out.

"What was that?" asked Voldemort.

"I'm sorry, Lily!" James yelled into the chamber.

"How very touching. The one who will soon die can only think about the one who is dead already," Voldemort said as he lifted the curse off James, who fell to his hands and knees, spitting up blood.

"You see, James, she is going crazy because of the pain being inflicted on her. She'll never again be the same Lily you once knew. That Lily is gone."

"You're wrong."

"Oh yes? How am I wrong?"

"She'll always be the same Lily." 

"Well, to prove to you that I am never wrong, I might as well show you."

He grabbed James by the collar of his shirt and dragged him across the room and through a big wooden door. Then he flung James into yet another dark room, where he hit the cold stone floor with a thud.

Voldemort left him lying in the floor in the dark room as he had landed. James couldn't move; everything hurt, even to breathe. But he had to get stronger; he had to fight against the pain. James bit his lip till he tasted blood, and rolled over on to his back.

The door opened once again and Lily was thrown into the room, landing just to the right of him. Even thought it pained him to do so, James stretched out his arm and pulled her on top of him. She was still breathing, but just barely. 

Her eyes were closed, her body was limp, and her face was beaded with sweat. James draped his arms protectively around her back and started to stroke her hair. After a few minutes, his Lily's breath returned to a normal speed, but still she didn't move.

"I heard you," she whispered.

"What?"

"I could hear you yelling, saying my name."

"You could?"

"You said that you were sorry."

"Yeah, I am, for everything…" 

"James, we're going to die; you know that, right?" 

"No, Lily, don't think like that."

"But I can't take it any more; it hurts so much. I can't fight it any more like I could yesterday."

"I won't let them hurt you, not as long as I can protect you. I promise."

"I never hated you, James, even when I said that I did; never, not in a million years."

James paused. He thought about what he was going to say; he wanted to say it, but they hadn't even dated… was it all right to not think about and just blurt it out?

"Lily, I love you," he whispered into her ear. She nodded and they fell asleep, but not before a smile passed over her lips.

Writers words...

OK this is my first chapter of this story there are about five more to go but thats all! yay! please R/R makes me and every one else happy, it only takes like ten seconds of your long day! so please if you found the time to read this then im sure you can find the time to review it! Oh on a less pleading note... IF YOU DONT REVIEW JUST REMEMBER THE EVIL BUNNIES ARE WATCHING YOU! lol yeah and you get to read the stupid things that i say when i respond!

3

Mel


	2. Courage

**Lily**

Lily lay on top of James. She was still in pain, but now moving didn't hurt her so much. She was cold, so very cold, but somehow James kept her warm on the cold floor. It might be day or night; Lily didn't know. The cell that they were in had no cracks or windows providing access to the outside world, just damp darkness, but to Lily it was life. She knew that death waited just through the next room and down the hall.

Suddenly, the heavy wood door opened, and a man came in and stood over them. Lily held tightly on to James, but the man snatched him from under her. James moaned softly from the quick movement that was being forced upon him.

"Boy, are you ready for death?" the masked man who grabbed James said forcefully.

"Frankly, no…"

"Well, you better get ready, because you're going to die today."

"No, James, don't give in to their games! Please don't leave me!" Lily yelled as the two bodies were silhouetted against the light from the doorway. She wiped a few lonesome tears from her eyes.

The man who was holding James by his shoulder turned and looked at her. James did the same.

"Never, Lily! I'll never leave you," he said to her.

"How very touching," the guard sneered "Well, since you don't want to leave each other, I suppose you can just watch the other die." The man chuckled at his own words, as if he found them amazingly clever, and called out to another hooded guard to help him.

The man walked in and grabbed Lily's arm, pulling her to her feet and dragging her on an even level with James. The two guards pushed and shoved their prisoners down the corridor and into another room. Absentmindedly, Lily grabbed James' hand and squeezed it tightly. James turned to her and tenderly held her gaze.

"We'll die for the good of others, and together. Death won't separate us, I promise. Don't be afraid to die," he whispered to her.

She looked at him and wondered how he could be so strong in a time of such need and misery.

"I'm not afraid to die, James, just as long as I die first."

James nodded. All hope was lost, and both knew that death waited through the next door. But at least if she died first, there would not be the horrid sight of his dead body lying on the cold stone floor for her to see.

The Death Eaters pushed them through the next door, tripping on the threshold. Lily and James fell to the floor.

"My Lord, we brought the prisoners."

"I though that I told you to only bring me Potter."

"Yes, my Lord, but we though that it would entertain you to make one watch the other die."

"Well, then I think that they should die together; "We could see who can hold out the longest," said one Death Eater, trying to make a game out of their lives.

It disgusted Lily that people could find such enjoyment in murdering people; they were even going to have a contest to see who would die first, she or James! It disgusted her. She squeezed James' hand hard and bit her lip till it bled.

Suddenly James stood up, pulling Lily with him. What was he thinking? Lily wondered what kind of trick James had up his sleeve.

"If I die today, I'm going to die standing, tall and proud."

"Courage, James – something I'd expect from you, but now isn't the greatest time to show it," Voldemort said in his cold voice that made Lily want to get as far away from him as she could.

"I die standing," James bluntly said.

"Very well_. Crucio_!"

Both James and Lily were hit with the curse. James stood screaming and grinding his teeth, holding her in spite of the pain, and it amazed Lily that he remained on his feet through all of it, none-the-less.

Lily knew that it was ending. She screamed, wishing that the pain would stop. Suddenly there was a white flash; Lily was about the age of fifteen, staring into the flickering fire.

"_Hey Evans, how's it going?" James Potter said, sitting down next to her._

"_None of your business, Potter!" she retorted, crumpling a piece of parchment in her hands._

"_It could be, if you tell me," he said as a silent tear slid down Lily's cheek, but still she looked into the fire and didn't face him. "I might be able to help…"_

"_No, no, you can't help me, no one can," she whispered, as more tears spilled from her eyes and slid down her cheeks._

"_I can't if you don't let me."_

"_I can't," she said, still looking at the flickering fire in the evening light._

"_But you can; you can tell me anything," James whispered, wiping the damp tears from her cheeks with his warm thumb. Lily turned to face him, placing her hand over his._

"_I'll always listen to you, Lily. Forever."_

_She began to cry harder now, salty water welling up from the corners of her eyes and flowing over his and her hands, then falling to the ground. James pulled her tight and held her as she cried._

There was another flash of bright white light, and Lily's head began to spin, her arms began to strain, and her legs felt like they were about to break, as the feeling of hot knives plunged through her body.

She screamed from the mounting pain in her head. There was a warm, squeezing feeling around her hand. Lily opened her eyes to see James on the ground next to her. He was on his knees, yelling from the pain, but still they held hands. Soon the pain stopped. Her breath slowed, and the room was silent except for the laughter coming from Voldemort and his followers.

"James?" Lily whispered to him while looking at their keepers.

"Yeah?" he whispered back, looking into her face once she turned to look at him, too.

"Before we die, I want you to know something…"

"What, Lily? We aren't going to die; I promise… someone will come."

"But…"

"I can just feel it; they are on their way; they have to be."

"James, listen – whenever I said that I hated you, it wasn't true. It never was, even though sometimes I wanted it to be."

"I know," he said, looking into her emerald eyes, showing true understanding.

"No, no, you don't. You don't know half of it…" Lily pleaded for him to listen.

"Did you enjoy that?" mocked a Death Eater.

"How about another dose of pain, boy?" sneered the other one.

James squeezed Lily's hand, and they both stood, each helping the other to their feet.

"People will come looking for us! And when they find out what happened and what you did to us, they'll come after you! And bring you as much pain as you've brought us!" Lily yelled at her keepers.

"Well, isn't that nice? _Crucio_."

Lily fell back to the ground, pain coursing through her body like an electric shockwave, pounding in her head, crushing her bones, though they didn't actually break.

Once again there was a white light, and once more Lily was back at Hogwarts, but now only just a day ago. In fact, it was the day that she and James had been taken captive by Voldemort.

_Lily and James were walking around the castle doing rounds, seeing as they were head boy and girl. Patrolling was one of their duties._

"_Favorite color?" James asked as they rounded a corner._

"_Blue – you?" Lily responded_

"_Bright green."_

"_Why?"_

"_I really don't know. Just because, I guess." Lily got the feeling that he knew more than he let on, but she let it slide._

"_Favorite class?" he asked, as if it were an afterthought._

"_Charms and Potions – yours?"_

"_Transfiguration and Defense Against the Dark Arts."_

"_Your worst?" Lily asked._

"_Potions and Divination."_

"_Me, it's Divination and Transfiguration. Seems that we should agree to disagree. Why don't you like Potions?" _

"_Never had a calling for it, I guess, and Slughorn…I hate how he picks favorites… Calls them the Slug Club."_

"_James, **I'm** in the Slug Club…"_

"_Oh, sorry. Why don't you like Transfiguration?"_

"_It's just so complicated. I can't ever do anything as fast as Sirius or you can, not to mention how confusing it is."_

"_Well, it is what you make it…"_

"_I guess so – what time is it?"_

"_One twenty-eight."_

"_We should head back now. I'm knackered."_

"_Yeah; bed – here I come!"_

"_So what do you think –" Lily never got to finish her sentence because Remus appeared, rounding the corner at a fast speed._

"_Lily, James, the school is being attacked!" Remus yelled as he ran towards them._

"_Moony!"_

"_Follow me!" Remus turned around and ran back with Lily and James following him._

"_This way!" he shouted, running down the hall and through a door, Lily and James only meters behind him._

_They rushed through the door and into an empty class room, but it was dark, and Remus was nowhere to be seen_

"_Remus? What's going on?" Lily called after the door slammed shut._

_James turned and pushed Lily behind him, as if protecting her from any harm._

"_Nothing is going on, Lily dear," replied Remus from a dark corner of the room._

"_**Lumos**," Lily said, causing Remus' face and the area where he stood to glow in the eerie light of her wand._

"_Remus, what's tomorrow?" James asked, eyeing Remus carefully._

"_Why? It's Thursday."_

"_You're not Remus!" Lily exclaimed. _

_"Yes, I am too, you idiots."_

"_No, you're not!"_

"_Well, then you've seen through my mask." Remus' features began to change and his height started to decrease, his sandy brown hair became bleach blond, and soon Lucius Malfoy stood in Remus' place._

"_Polyjuice Potion – what a wonderful thing it is," he said mockingly._

"_What's going on?" James asked demandingly. _

"_You'll find out soon..." Suddenly, the world went black._

_Hours later, Lily and James woke up to a man with slits for a nose and bright red eyes. He frowned down at them._

"_Good, my guests have awakened," he said, glaring at them. "James Potter and Lily Evans." They both stood, but James was the first to speak._

"_What do you want with us, Voldemort?"_

"_Simple really, just for you to join me."_

"_And if we refuse?" Lily said._

"_Then you die. Nott, take the girl to the next room; you know what to do."_

_Lily was pushed through the door and into another room._

There was another flash of white light. Lily could hear voices in the distance. They screamed, shouted, and yelled. After listening to them for a few moments, she found she couldn't recognize them.

_Who are they_? she wondered. Lily felt that she was being moved, the pace quick and urgent. She opened her eyes to see James holding her and moving towards what he must have thought an exit, while behind them hooded Death Eaters dueled with Aurors. How they had gotten there, Lily didn't know.

"James, what's going on?" she asked, her voice raspy from screaming.

"The Aurors came to save us, and you weren't waking up, and we needed to get out of there. There's a Portkey around here somewhere and –"

"Alright, James, I get the picture."

"Can you walk?'

"Hope so." James set Lily down, but her legs were like jelly under her weight, so James pulled one of her arms around his neck and put one of his around her waist.

"Lily, your wand is in my back pocket. Take it; you might need it." At this, Lily reached into James' pocket to find her wand.

They entered a deserted corridor; its crumbling walls looked as if they would come crashing down upon them any moment. Trying to watch their feet, they moved hurriedly through the hall, but still they tripped on what might have been an uprooted cobblestone and fell to the ground.

Hey its me, RedCurls, im just checking up, you know seeing how you like it, please r/r it makes me and every one else feel better... plus you gett to read my wacky responds... and i know thats what you want... lol

PLEASE READ AND REVIEW!

3

RedCurls


	3. Rage

**She fell:**

"Bloody hell." Yelled Lily clutching her knee from where It had forcefully hit the stone ground.

"What's wrong?" Asked James his voice filled with concern, he crawled towards her.

"I landed on my knee and I think that its-" She was cut off in the middle of her sentence because form behind them Malfoy appeared.

"Potter get away from her!" Sneered Malfoy with a malicious smirk on his face.

"You'll have to make me." James said blocking Lily from him, drawing his wand and ready to cast any spells needed to save them.

"Drop it Potter your no match for me you blood traitor." Malfoy's smirk grew to a smirk full of confidence and pride as he said this.

"Taunting banter Malfoy, what are you scared or something?" James said in a haughty voice while shaking his long sweaty black hair out of his eyes for a better view.

"You wish potter. Since you escaped my master I shall get the pleasure of killing you." His menacing smirk now grew again to a grin.

"Not if I kill you first." James said, getting the last word as he always seemed to do.

** Sirius **

_'Dumbledore is going to kill me if he ever found out that I had snuck here' _Sirius thought from under James' invisibility cloak. He was watching the aurors duel the death eaters and Dumbledore with Voldemort. Occasionally he would see Mr. or Mrs. Potter and of course he would help the aurors by stunning their opponents for them, but he had a mission of his own: To find Lily and James.

His searching eyes strained, why was looking for a mop of raven black hair and shiny long red hair so difficult! But just at that moment Sirius spotted them, James was helping Lily in to a corridor and Malfoy was right on their tails, Sirius fallowed, ready to take Malfoy down.

Soon Malfoy realized that he couldn't catch up to the escaping prisoners so he muttered a spell that caused James and Lily to trip, they made contact with the floor. Sirius ran faster and faster to where he was almost caught up with Malfoy when a painful shrilling scream erupted from behind him. It was one he recognized to be Mrs. Potter's. Quickly he spun around and saw her on the ground clenching her stomach with a black hooded death eater standing over her.

Sirius did the only thing that he could think to do, he turned around and ran at the death eater standing over his adopted mothers form. Sirius tackled the death eater knocking him to the floor. Then in a fit of rage serious punched the disoriented Death Eater and knocked him out cold. He then helped Mrs. Potter rise to his feet.

"Sirius what are you doing here?" She whispered gasping for air, and staring at where Sirius' body should have been.

"How did you know that it was me?" Sirius asked astonished by her correct guess.

"No time go find James and get to a safe place!" She yelled stunning the closest death eater, she seemed to have recovered from her temporary loss of breath.

"Shit!" Sirius yelled forgetting about his mission for a moment. Just a moment.

Lily and James had slipped his mind in his quest to save Mrs. Potter. He full sprinted once again to where he had last seen James and Lily heading. But when he got there rage was, once again, building by what he saw; Malfoy was standing over James who was now on his knees yelling in pain from the curse, a curse that would make you feel as is you were being torn apart. And now it was being place on his best friend, his brother, his family.

Once again Sirius forgot that he owned a wand and charged at Malfoy knocking him to the floor. He grabbed his wand and pointed it at Malfoy.

"Black I should have known that you were here, have you come to rescue Potter here and his dirty mudblood scum?" He said wiping his mouth where a small trickle of blood has formed when his jaw hit the ground.

"As a matter of fact Malfoy I am!" Sirius said his gray eyes had turned a black, he knew what he could do to Malfoy with one small incantation.

"Well this should be interesting, son of a death eater vs. a death eater but you are still no match for me." Malfoy's over confident and malicious grin had returned.

"You know Malfoy this_ should_ be interesting but I don't want to waste my talent on rubbish like you." Sirius said putting emphases on the word 'should.' With a simple swish of his wand.

"Accio Wand!" He yelled Sirius' voice strong and brave, when doing so Malfoy's wand flew out of his hand and Lily grabbed it as it hit the ground beside her.

"You see Malfoy that's why it _should_ be interesting." Sirius with a small amount of mirth in his voice.

"You're scared aren't you Black?" Malfoy's temper was rising.

"No dear Lucius, but you should be. Stupify." Malfoy froze where he lay on the ground and Sirius rushed over to James and Lily.

In the time that it had taken him to stupefy Malfoy James had passed out and Lily placed his head on her lap. He knelt down next to her and watched as she stroked her hand through his sweat covered raven hair. Lily's gaze was blurred by the tears that fell from her green eyes and dripped from her cheeks. Sirius watched for a moment, even in the mists of a battle all that mattered to him was watching Lily stroke James' hair.

Every thing in his mind stopped as he watched, there was no sound, no terror, no pain, he couldn't even feel the beat of his own heart thumping in the rush to safety.

"Mr. Black?" Said a voice from behind him, the voice brought Sirius back to the present time to look upon the old face of his head master Albus Dumbledore.

"Yes Sir?" he asked standing looking guilty.

"I need you to get James and Lily back to the medical ward in Hogwarts." Dumbledore said his voice sounding certain.

"But James is…" Sirius couldn't even finish his sentence, it hurt him to much to know that he didn't save him in time.

"Don't bother with his condition at the moment, here." The old head master handed Sirius a piece of black torn cloth.

"Sir?" Sirius questioned.

"I've made it in to a porkey, have Lily touch it and hold on to James, it will take you back to the infirmary and you all need to seek medical attention." A jet of red light flew past Sirius' ear only missing him by a hair, literally.

"Hurry go, there isn't much time." Dumbledore urged.

Sirius nodded again and walked over to Lily and James, Dumbledore left once again to join the battle.

"Lily we need to go back hang on to the Portkey And I'll grab James." Lily nodded and Touched the black cloth while Sirius grabbed James' arm he took a deep breath.

The small piece of cloth started to glow an electric blue. Then there was familiar pulling at his navel and a strong wind blew past Sirius' face causing him to close his eyes. They were on their way, and hopefully wouldn't be stopped…


	4. Love

**Lily**

Sirius just charged at Malfoy he fell to the ground while Sirius stood over him. James slumped to the floor falling from his knees to his chest; with a cold hard thud he hit the floor. He isn't getting up just laying on the ground, his eyes are closed they don't flutter, his mouth doesn't move, James is still.

_ 'No no no, please James wake up for me James please?' _ Lily's thoughts screamed as she watched his stillness. Forgetting about her knee she crawled over to him, Lily ran her fingers over his cheek. She then maneuvered herself so she could place James' Head softly on her lap with his face looking up at her.

"James wake up please, just wake up and listen." Lily whispered in to his ear "please please." When he didn't stir reality hit her like a sucker punch to the stomach.

"he wont because he cant… he cant because he's dead. No not now James you promised that I'd die first you promised. Please, I have so much more to tell you, please wake up just to listen, to live, to live with me." Her voice was cracking.

Lily bent down and kissed his lips softly, all she wanted was for him to respond. For him to open his eyes so she could see their hazel glitter, to smile back at her tear streaked face and laugh, but there was nothing.

_'James, you have to wake up I need you. Laugh, your laugh gets me through the day. Walking in to the common room and seeing you smiling at me makes living worth while. I want you to hold me when I cry, I want you to help keep away my fears and cuddle with me at night. Tell me things that only you can say, Kiss me good morning and kiss me good night and ever hour in between.'_ Tears started to well in her blood shot emerald eyes.

_ 'but you cant, not any more at least. Always to late aren't I? I was late for you and you are all that ever really mattered to me. Your voice haunts my dreams, my thoughts, my life, but I love it all of it because it all comes from you.'_ Her thoughts began to voice what she has denied for so long. Lily started to run her hand through his messy sweat and blood stained hair, wishing, hoping, fearing all at once.

_'I cant live with out you James I never could, I love the way you taunt me. I wont live with out seeing you every day, hell is better a life with out you.'_

"Lily we need to go back hang on to the portkey and I'll grab James." Sirius' voice said. She had forgotten he was there. She took a hold of the small piece of cloth not really knowing what she was doing, or even knowing where she was. There was a small pulling at her navel as she left the dusty cobblestone floor.

Lily fell from the air with a thud she landed on the ground in the hospital wing, She opened her eyes to find that she had landed on top of James.

_'Im not going to fight it any more…'_ her mind wandered. Lily's vision started to blur, her body started to go limp and felt heavy.

"James…" she whispered only loud enough to be heard. Then Lily gave in to the darkness obscuring her body. She'll see him soon was all that Lily could think before her world went totally black.

**James**

"Hurry Lily come on!" James yelled as they raced down the dark corridor lit only by the glow of the torches hung on the walls.

"I. Cant." Panted Lily as she ran behind him holding the stitch in her side.

"Yes love you can, we're almost there look I can see the light just ahead!"

There was a soft thud behind him, James turned his head to look and saw a body with red hair laying on the stone ground. He stopped and ran back over to Lily, James pulled her off the ground and in to his arms he then continued to run down the hall.

_'just a head'_ he thought but James never made it. There was a loud crash as James and Lily fell through the floor the hit the stone hard and painfully. An evil laugh filled the room it was cold and made the hair on the back of his neck stand on end.

"Thought that you could get away from me did you boy?" said the man with the cold laugh. James said nothing.

"I see now what you care about in the world most." Said the man. He looked straight in to James' eyes penetrating the fog in to his mind.

James knew what the man was trying to do so he tried hard as he could not to think of Lily Evans but her smiling face kept popping in to his mind.

"I knew it was so." said the man that James recognized to be Voldemort, he turned to lily and raised his wand.

"Don't you dare hurt her!" James yelled to Voldemort in an almost pleading way.

"Oh I will do more then that." He said "Avada kedavra!" there was a bright green light.

"Lily!" James yelled.

His eyes shoot open and James sat up from where he had been laying down. He looked around the room trying to figure out where he was but more importantly where Lily was. James saw many made beds and lots of bright windows but before he could examine more of the room he was pushed back down on to the bed by a man with brown hair.

James strained against him but gave in after finding that he was to strong, James let him push him back. Though his body was being still his mind raced at speeds that could surpass a runaway train. The man backed off him after he found that James no longer put up a fight.

"Prongs, what happened, are you okay, what did he say, what did he do to you, can you hear me, do you remember who I am?"

It took only but a minute for James to recognize the buy with sandy hair that kept rattling off questions, it was none other than Remus Lupin.

"Shut up Remus you worry wart." James said as a smile played across his face. Remus' mouth stopped moving but he smothered James with a hug. Finally when Remus let go he looked at his friend expectedly.

"What?" James asked with a confused glance at him.

"Well… what happened back there?" Remus said as if he were testing the waters.

James' mind had slowed so he tried to remember what had happened, it was then that his arms felt heavy and like electricity pain shot through his body. James groaned, he closed his eyes tight wishing the pain to go away. He grinded his teeth but the pain had gone just as soon as it had come, James took a deep breath relived that the episode was over.

When he opened his eyes he saw the school healer; Jane McCrery, and Remus standing over him.

"W-what was that all ab-b-out?" He stuttered asking the healer.

"Its an after shock of the particular curse that was placed on you, usually it will happen a few times before you are ready to do regular activities." Jane stated. "This will make your body immune to the shock waves, Numborse." she stated mater a fact way. And with a swish of her wand James' body started to tingle. Jane left having stated that her work was done for the moment.

"Where's Lily? James asked Remus.

"over there…" Remus pointed to a bed with the curtains pulled tight around it.

_ 'no, no, no, no, no, no,' _A voice inside James head screamed.

He didn't care if he was to stay in his bed or not all that mattered to him was Lily. James flung the covers off his body and ran to the bed that Remus said was Lily's.

_ 'no, no, no, no, no, no, no,'_ his head echoed with the words.

Once reaching the curtained area James flung back the curtains to see Sirius sitting in a chair asleep and Lily with her beautiful red hair fanned out across the pillow where she rested on the bed.

** Sirius**

It had been Days since they rescued James and Lily from the clutches of Voldemort. Once they had arrived by porkey Lily passed out just as James had but her last words still rang in his head. Every second he saw her on the hospital bed.

"James..." After that moment Sirius may have realized the power and devotion of love.

Lily would let herself die if she thought that James was already dead; Just so she could be with him Madam McCrery had told him and Remus that James would be alright but when he asked about Lily Sirius recalled what she had said.

" Miss. Evans I don't know about, I seems to me that she has lost something so dear that she doesn't want to come back to us. It seems to me that only she can bring herself back."

Those were the exact words that James had said. Remus and Sirius hadn't left the hospital wing since the conditions of their friends were known. Each spent an hour with one then they switched to the other. Sirius' time with Lily was spent telling her that James was ok and that she needed to some back to them. Sirius closed his eyes trying to remember what he had said to Lily only a day ago.

"Lily James' is alive, he is hear asleep waiting for you to come back to us. He wants you here with him."

There was the loud noise of curtains being shoved aside that brought Sirius out of his memories. He opened his eyes to see James leaning over Lily her small hands in his. Sirius watched as James sat down in a chair and started to whisper things in to her ear.

Again the world seemed to stop as if just for them, things moved in slow motion as James whipped Lily's bangs away from her face. There was a warm hand placed on Sirius' Shoulder, he turned to see Remus standing beside him.

"C'mon Lets leave them alone." He whispered.

"Yeah maybe he can help…" After those words said both Remus and Sirius left for a long needed dinner and some rest back in their dorms.

**Lily**

_The sun was setting over the tops of the tall forest trees casting an orange glow over the Hogwarts grounds._

_Lily sat at the edge of a dock with her feet dangling in the cool water just below. In her hand was a folded piece of parchment, it was a note to her from one of the marauders, She had done this many times before. Each time Lily hoped that the note would be from James, but it never was._

_Each time she would sit at the dock with her feet skimming the waters surface waiting for one of them to appear. But they never did, all that she ever saw was the sun setting and heard voices in her ear whispering away to her._

_Some times it would be Remus' voice, he would tell her about his life, and what the weather was like where ever he was. Sometimes she would hear Sirius' voice, he would tell her about James and how much He and James and Remus missed her begging her to come back to them._

_But no James was here, she was sure of it, Though she had never seen him Lily convinced her self that he was there hiding around the next corner. But she never found him._

_Lily's hands started to tingle, she looked at it but saw nothing. She looked around franticly with hope apparent in her eyes but saw nothing. Though she couldn't see him she could feel him, James was the only one who could make her tingle when he toughed her. The only one who could make her stomach turn to butterflies, the only one that that made her feel truly happy. She knew that he was there just where…_

_"Lily, Lily can you hear me?" his soft voice whispered in her ear._

_"Yes, yes James I can!" she tried to say but her lips didn't move nor did any sound come from her mouth._

_"Please don't leave me, I just cant do any thing with out you! Please come back to us Lily."_

_She tried again "Yes James I'll come where are you?" but again just as before no sound came out._

_"I want to see your green eyes, I want to see you smile. Just wake up."_

_"Your smile is the most beautiful thing that I've ever seen, don't deprive me the glory of seeing it again, I want to be the one to make you smile like you always do."_

_"All the time I've been asleep I dreamt about you, every time I close my eyes I see you. When Voldemort captured us all I could think about was getting away from him so I could save you. Lily I love you I have since third year when I knew what love was!"_

_Lily leapt up from where she sat on the dock and began to search the grounds for James._

_"When we sit in the common room doing work and your hand lightly brushes against mine my stomach does a flip flop, and my skin tingles. You make me want to be better, do better, and help other people. Getting through the day is so hard when an other option it grabbing you hand and taking you away to a place where it'll only be us two."_

_Lily was running as fast as she could through the castle, by this time she had covered three floors starting from the dungeons up, only seven more to go. Her side was beginning to hurt but she had to keep going she had to find James._

_James kept on whispering sweet things in to her ear for hours more while she searched for him. His voice started to soften even more, his words took longer to pronounce and soon his words were no more._

_"No James don't leave me! Please tell me where you are!" She screamed but still no sound. Lily sunk down against a wall and began to cry. She cried in to her knees, James truly wasn't there, he never was. "Take me to where he is please, he wants me to go with him stay with him! So why cant I?"_

_There was a loud creak that made Lily's head snap up from her knees, she looked up in time to see two large wooden doors swing open._

_Out of curiosity Lily walked over to the doors, they lead to the hospital wing she looked in but found things the same as they usually were. Suddenly her eye sight went blurry, Lily rubbed her eyes and looked around the ward once again._

_But this time She saw James, Lily ran over to his sleeping form and placed her hand on his back but found that it slipped right through. She tried it a few more times but the result didn't change. Once again the room started to blur Lily looked up And jumped by what she saw before her._

_Lily saw herself on the bed her own red hair fanned out against the pillow, Lily touched the side of her own face but instead of falling through it started to glow._

_Lily gasped and this time sound came out! James stirred from the edge of the bed his head rose from the bed his expressing sleepy and dazed. Lily pulled her hand from her face and tried to touch him. But he didn't seem to notice, he stood up and walked right through Lily to kneel down by her sleeping head._

_"Please come back to me soon Lily." He whispered in to her ear._

_" I am James I just don't know how!" lily screamed but this time no sound came out._

_James walked back to his chair and fell asleep. Something in Lily's head clicked, she walked over to her sleeping self and laid down into it. There was a bright light that made lily close her eyes not to open them until she felt warm for the first time in days._

Opening her eyes lily took in the hospital wing and smiled to herself when she saw James sleeping by her bed his head resting near her hand.

"home" She whispered to herself before falling asleep herself.

Hours later, Lily woke to darkness out side, she looked around the small enclosed area where james had once sat in a chair was now gone. She felt alone, so very alone. The air smelt of daffodils mixed with some clean lemony sent, and just outside the curtains that enclosed her she heard a familiar voice.

It was the headmaster Dumbledore and it seemed he was speaking to a healer… Lily tried to concentrate on the words he was saying but only caught a few.

"I believe that was the first, the first of three…" Professor Dumbledore said. Lily heard a gasp form the Healer. And then the crack of open doors. And their conversation stopped.

"Mr. Potter, Mr. Black, Mr. Lupin, how nice of you to join us here, I believe you friend Mrs. Evans has awoken" Dumbledore said. Lily smiled at her all knowing headmaster. Soon there was the sound of shoes slapping the hard stone floor as they rushed towards her. The curtains were flung aside and three men appared…

She'd be ok, she knew it… and so would they…

sorry for the really long like year it took me to up date, I had some personal problems. And didn't have my computer. I hope you like it. I had to change the ending though, the original one I had drug out for ever… but then again… so does this one. Any way reviews are like wonderful! So send me some! Thanks!

Mel


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